Zoological Erotica13:46 Feb 19 2010
Times Read: 1,215
Myself and Flannery spent the better part of 3 hours walking around Dublin Zoo yesterday. For the most part it was an enjoyable affair, there were of course the shouting, screaming, screeching kids that ruin any activity they get within earshot of. There was also the occasional idiotic parent and then there was the endless waves of fatties and morons.
However there were a few things that redeemed the experience. Most notably there were three incidents of indecent exposure. The first of these took place at the gibbons enclosure. I was standing in front of the glass when the female stood up and leaned forward on her rope swing and as soon as her rear end was high enough the male was right behind her and they proceeded to get busy. At the exact same time there was a father and son team coming up to the glass and before he could stop himself the father said...
"Look at the monkeys Stephen"
The second illicit act took place in the reptile house. If you can imagine the scene, it is warm from the heat lamps, the room is darkened and there is a little mood music playing in the background. Ok, now that you have imagined the scene forget everything you know about the cliche
"sexy, romantic" scene and instead of two people getting it on imagine two tortoises clumsily humping, slipping, tilting and stumbling over each other in the corner of the room.
The last event took place in the South American Habitat and although I am saving it for last it is not the best of the lot. In fact it was the most subdued and tasteful sex scene of the day. The participants even had the good graces to try and hide from the viewing public before beginning their ploughing session. And given that they were Marmosets and are hardly bigger than your palm they were by far the most secretive couple of the day.
COMMENTS
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RedQueen
22:45 Feb 26 2010
Our little gremlins upstairs when he lived in the basement suite would play the piano at all hours, calling it "practice" although if that was the best she got after 3 years of practice, I weep for her first performance...
And the 8 year old boy, who thought dribbling a lacrosse ball across the wooden floors at all hours was ALSO necessary- and Scott and I both worked NIGHTS (insomnia here too, sweety)